In my groups and in individual coaching we always start our sessions by sharing “wins” or successes. A win is something you did that you feel good about, regardeless of results or something that happened for you that you like, regardless of whether you feel that you had any agency in its creation. A win can also be an insight about your patterns or a personal benchmark such as not being reactive to something that would normally set you off.
Most of us don’t give our successes much attention, while we will ruminate on a failure or an upset for days and with passion. What would your life be like if you spent time and energy passionately celebrating and wisely examining your wins for information? There are three reasons why it is empowering to focus on and celebrate wins:
1. Focusing on wins keeps you looking in the direction you wish to be going. It’s like riding a bike. If you look at a pothole in the road, you will invariably ride through it. The trick to avoiding potholes is to look at the direction you wish to ride, perhaps a little to the left of that hole in the road. Such is life. “Why do I always fail?” is not a very empowering question. Asking the question, “What are my wins?” and “How did I get them” puts you in the mind frame for success. What you put your attention on expands.
2. Looking for wins is habit forming. When clients first come to see me, they often struggle just to come up with three wins. It always surprises me that this would be such a challenge. How good do things have to be in order to get our attention? It is sad to me that there is so much goodness we create and don’t even notice. After a few sessions, my clients start to notice more of their wins because they are collecting them to share with me. Life becomes a treasure hunt of delight! Instead of struggling to come up with three wins, my clients habitually notice abundance and richness in their lives. They become more conscious, present, and grateful. Which is a really wonderful state of being!
3. Useful information can be found in every success (or failure). After we share our wins, we ponder more deeply what moved us forward to get our wins. Let’s say “Sarah” got her office organized. If we then ask Sarah “What moved you forward to get your win?” she might say something like, “Well, the thing that was different was that I actually wrote the times I wanted to work on it in my calendar.” Ah! Here we have found a life tool that works great for Sarah! (It might not work for everyone, but this is Sarah’s tool box.) Now Sarah would like to do more creative painting. She may want to try putting that in her calendar, too. Heck, she may want to be more appreciative of her husband, kids, or friends and put that in her calendar, too. Why not try it?
Action Steps:
1. Select something to serve as your “Win Journal”. A basic sheet of notebook paper will suffice. Or go to a book store and get fancy.
2. Write three wins at the end of each day.
3. Write what move you forward to get each win. (Your tool box.)
4. Pick a tool from your tool box to apply to another area of your life.
Enjoy!!!!