Most business people I know are hesitant to follow up with potential clients. “I don’t want to bug them,” they say. When we think about “sales” many of us get an archetypal image of a sleazy used car sales dealer. (Definitely not to say anything bad about used car sales people in general.) And we don’t want to think of ourselves as slimy or manipulative. This image makes us hold back. Also, we often feel a little desperate or panicked when getting more business becomes our top priority. We don’t want to plead on our knees for new business, either. I am here to give you the good news that you don’t have to be manipulative or groveling to solicit your business. (Though I have tried groveling and it does have a certain amount of effectiveness.)

One issue that keeps us from promoting our businesses is the icky feeling of shame around wanting more money. We want money, sure. We need money to live. By instead focusing on our core values we can promote our businesses in a way that feels good. Instead of picking up the phone ashamed that part of us is seeing the person on the other end as a potential much needed dollar sign, we can call with the knowledge that we have something wonderful to offer. When I follow up from my core value of empowering others to greater success, I feel positive and connected. And a “no” simply means that person is not in a position where they feel the need for support. If I was calling keenly aware of my fear of being interpreted as a slimy salesperson, I might make a “no” mean that that person indeed sees me as slimy. That “no” would hurt! Fear of rejection can be quite an obstacle to building a business. But it is just as easy to put it in perspective by focusing on what is essential and meaningful to us at our core.

In addition to looking at contacting potential clients from our core values, following up really is a critical component to excellent customer service. In our Entrepreneurs Group a member pointed out that he is grateful when a service provider calls to follow up. He said the reason he decided to try my group was because I followed up. He went on to cite several other examples of times when he ended up giving the person who followed up his business over another business owner who, perhaps politely, left him alone. Your potential customers get busy. Your email is buried right under the one from their mother that they are putting off. They really want to engage with you but they have been putting out fires. More often than not your potential clients will THANK YOU for your call and feel good about you and your professional customer service. It feels good to work with someone who is attentive to our needs.

You have something wonderful to offer others. There are people out there just waiting to benefit from your product or service. You are the answer to someone else’s prayers. Make it easy and pleasant for them to find you and move forward. Some of us have a tendency to feel unworthy on some level. We resist the desire to get money or to be valued for our product or service. We see others living in scarcity and feel shame when we want better for ourselves. We feel like we are imposing to ask for compensation when “everyone is having such a hard time.” I wonder how long it will take us to notice when everyone is no longer “having such a hard time”. Sometimes I think that story is self-perpetuating. By following up you are expressing your core values, giving great customer service, as well as modeling abundance thinking by refusing to live from the scarcity story any longer. May you be truly successful and bring prosperity to us all!

While shops and restaurants may have adequate customer service, only a handful of businesses attend to the “Customer Experience” (how the customer feels every step of their interaction). I frequently see missed opportunities to make money due to this oversight. You can significantly boost your income by giving concentrated attention to the Customer Experience. It is my mission to empower businesses to create a reputation of superlative customer service by educating business owners and staff about perfecting their Customer Experience!

I have noticed a tendency for businesses to be “regulars-centric”. For example, customers who know the system at a restaurant may be happy repeat customers. However, first time visitors can have a confusing or dissatisfactory experience. Some friends and I went to a local restaurant for the first time, walked in, picked a table, and sat down. We waited. And waited. We felt confused and neglected. Some other customers walked straight up to the counter and ordered.

Oh! Now we felt stupid. But we had heard great things about this restaurant so went to the counter to order. The staff was exceptionally friendly. We felt welcomed and positive. The food was delicious. We felt satisfied. Now our empty plates drew our attention. We looked around for a bus tub. Again we felt confused. We left our plates on the table. We felt a little guilty not knowing if we had done the right thing. This is an example of good “customer service” but a neglected “Customer Experience”.

Notice that this restaurant has become associated with the following feelings: confused X2, stupid, welcomed, positive, satisfied, guilty. Now imagine Buffy and Biff who have come over from a neighboring town for the day. They find a table and wait. And wait. How do they feel? Do they stay? I am guessing they would leave after feeling confused and neglected.

What do you imagine Buffy and Biff say about this restaurant to their friends back home? What if the person behind the counter had said with a smile, “Hello! Come on up to the counter when you’re ready to order.”?

It is not the customers who complain you need to worry about. It is the silent ones who leave who are the most dangerous to your business. Word-of-mouth is essential to the survival of any business. And it can either help you or hurt you!

Here is some quick advice on enhancing your Customer Experience:

1.Get a customer’s eye view: As a general rule, I have found the Ajax Café’s (Port Hadlock, WA) Customer Experience to be stellar. Owner, Kristan McCary told me that her staff is mindful of the different needs that customers come in with, “Some will want the quiet corner in back, others come for the performance on stage, still others need to cut loose and wear a few of our novelty hats over drinks.” The staff assesses each group that comes in to ensure that they are seated appropriately and that they are indulged as much as they want… or given some space if each other’s company is all the couple seems to need. Sometimes three’s a crowd!

2. Be a guide: I have the pleasure of working with Port Townsend Chiropractic (in Uptown on Lawrence Street across from the Library). Doctors Calah Tenney and Lyndsay Mishko are solidifying their Customer Experience protocol to give clients a sense of specialness, safety, and relaxation from start to finish. This means being a guide to each new client that comes through the door. They want their clients to feel nurtured. Clients are greeted by name, shown how the tea water works, and given guidance around how their individual insurance benefits support their chiropractic options to reduce unwanted surprises. It feels nice to relax into competent caring hands once in a while, doesn’t it?

I invite you to take a newcomer’s view of your business and create a protocol that is mindful to your customers’ emotional experiences from start to finish. Be a guide so your clients feel like the special people they truly are. Become a leader in creating a reputation of stellar Customer Experience in your area and embrace the abundance you so deserve!

Sign up for a free mini-assessment today!

“Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.” ~Cheers theme song, by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo.

There are many practical benefits to being in a Professionals Group. The two most common benefits clients identify at the end of a group session are “focus” and “accountability”. Group members frequently share that coming to group each week has kept them focused on their goals. Many business people get caught up in distractions or swept away in discouragement. Just by virtue of having a scheduled time each week to focus on their businesses (instead of being in… or avoiding their businesses) members stay focused, on track, and experience continued momentum toward their goals.

Focus is enhanced by the accountability that the group design offers. Every week each member shares three “wins” and then for each win answers the question, “What specifically moved you forward to get your wins?” More often than not, what has moved someone forward to achieve a goal is the fact that last week they told the group they would. At the end of each session members share three action steps to complete before the next session, e.g. “working on organizing my office for 2 hours.” Somehow telling the group about it is much more powerful that just putting it on a to-do list. Accountability to others is a fabulous tool to leverage for yourself!

In addition to focus and accountability, Professionals Groups provide a place for you to brainstorm challenges with peers. Entrepreneurs can feel isolated in their businesses. They also suffer from a lack of input (or their friends and spouses get burnt out on hearing about their struggles or have lame ideas). In group you can bring a question and ask the group for ideas. Now you are not alone in your thoughts and you have a team of people who help shift your perspective and actually have some great ideas from their own experiences.

Your group peers not only provide good ideas, but they also help extend your network. I like to say that Professionals Groups “deepen” your network. When we think of networking, we think of meeting *more* people. But meeting more people is not nearly as valuable as having a handful of people who know you well, understand your value and passion, and really want to see you succeed! I am so delighted when group members share referrals with each other and use each others’ services. I also enjoy promoting my group members lavishly! Indeed, a huge reason to be in a Professionals Group in the first place is to build your business and get more customers or clients. I want my clients to make more money, with greater wisdom, and a heart warm with gratitude. The value you will get from being in a Professionals Group is tangible, tactical, and practical as well as authentic and connected.

Judy Alexander, who leads the popular Artist’s Way groups in Port Townsend, Washington, shared with me what she sees as the value of group work. “When someone else speaks, you hear your own thoughts. When someone else stumbles, you feel compassion, beyond what you might grant yourself in the same circumstance. At some point, it dawns on you that you are sitting in the company of people who struggle with life just the way you do, and you are forgiven not being perfect in realizing WE ARE ALL IN THIS ADVENTURE TOGETHER.”

We humans sometimes see our mistakes as unforgiveable, our potential as limited, and our value as debatable. As Judy suggests, the group design has a way of bringing more acceptance and forgiveness to ourselves as we more easily forgive the mistakes of others. People in groups also tend to estimate the potential and value of others higher than that of themselves. Noticing this tendency allows group members to suspend their own disbelief about what they are capable of and recognize the value they create by sharing their struggles and resulting wisdom with others.

To find out more about joining a Professionals Group, contact me.

Also, Judy Alexander has started a new Artist’s Way group which she calls Discovering/Recovering Your Creativity, in mid-January. The group lasts 6 months. She also has another A New Earth group, using Eckhart Tolle’s book by the same name, starting soon. Contact Judy at lightenup@olympus.net for more information.

In my groups and in individual coaching we always start our sessions by sharing “wins” or successes. A win is something you did that you feel good about, regardeless of results or something that happened for you that you like, regardless of whether you feel that you had any agency in its creation. A win can also be an insight about your patterns or a personal benchmark such as not being reactive to something that would normally set you off.

Most of us don’t give our successes much attention, while we will ruminate on a failure or an upset for days and with passion. What would your life be like if you spent time and energy passionately celebrating and wisely examining your wins for information? There are three reasons why it is empowering to focus on and celebrate wins:

1. Focusing on wins keeps you looking in the direction you wish to be going. It’s like riding a bike. If you look at a pothole in the road, you will invariably ride through it. The trick to avoiding potholes is to look at the direction you wish to ride, perhaps a little to the left of that hole in the road. Such is life. “Why do I always fail?” is not a very empowering question. Asking the question, “What are my wins?” and “How did I get them” puts you in the mind frame for success. What you put your attention on expands.

2. Looking for wins is habit forming. When clients first come to see me, they often struggle just to come up with three wins. It always surprises me that this would be such a challenge. How good do things have to be in order to get our attention? It is sad to me that there is so much goodness we create and don’t even notice. After a few sessions, my clients start to notice more of their wins because they are collecting them to share with me. Life becomes a treasure hunt of delight! Instead of struggling to come up with three wins, my clients habitually notice abundance and richness in their lives. They become more conscious, present, and grateful. Which is a really wonderful state of being!

3. Useful information can be found in every success (or failure). After we share our wins, we ponder more deeply what moved us forward to get our wins. Let’s say “Sarah” got her office organized. If we then ask Sarah “What moved you forward to get your win?” she might say something like, “Well, the thing that was different was that I actually wrote the times I wanted to work on it in my calendar.” Ah! Here we have found a life tool that works great for Sarah! (It might not work for everyone, but this is Sarah’s tool box.) Now Sarah would like to do more creative painting. She may want to try putting that in her calendar, too. Heck, she may want to be more appreciative of her husband, kids, or friends and put that in her calendar, too. Why not try it?

Action Steps:
1. Select something to serve as your “Win Journal”. A basic sheet of notebook paper will suffice. Or go to a book store and get fancy.
2. Write three wins at the end of each day.
3. Write what move you forward to get each win. (Your tool box.)
4. Pick a tool from your tool box to apply to another area of your life.

Enjoy!!!!

Becoming mired in our fears and self-doubts is one of the biggest obstacles to achieving success. Have you ever noticed that shortly after the excitement of coming up with a brilliant idea, there are a whole host of fears and what-ifs to follow? Then you question yourself and doubt the brilliance of your idea and your ability to implement it.

Then, instead of taking action, you focus on “Why?” Why am I so afraid? Why don’t I move forward? Could it be self-esteem issues? Maybe I fear failure? Maybe I fear success? Maybe I need therapy? Thus the great idea takes its place on the atrophy (as opposed to trophy) shelf with other abandoned ideas and perceived failures. We use it as new evidence that we cannot live lives of passion and purpose. Yuck!

I am here to tell you, there is another way. Fear and self-doubt just are. They are not going away and they do not mean anything. If you are going to wait for fear to be gone you will only end up doing things about which you are not that passionate.

“But it’s not just fear, Heather. I have a track record of failures.” I am sure you do. I am sure you have a list a mile long. You and me and Thomas Edison. We are all big failures. And we are all big successes but we don’t put much attention on that. (Well, I cannot speak for Thomas Edison.) What if you kept a running list of things you succeeded at and used that as evidence of your future potential?

But don’t throw out your list of “failures”. There’s gold in them hills! Within each failure is embedded a gold nugget of information. You have a choice to use your list of failures as a bludgeoning instrument for your self-worth, or as a rich information mine full of gold bullion. This goes for failed jobs, failed relationships, and failed businesses as well as little disappointments along the way. There is information in successes too. Feeling bad or feeling good is extra. The lessons in each are essential.

Instead of asking “why?”, accept the fears and self-doubts as givens and don’t dwell there. Take action. That action may involve getting more information about your idea to see if it is truly feasible. Because sometimes brilliant ideas are not yet viable and you don’t want to waste your precious time, energy, and life force. Stopping because to move forward is illogical is different than stopping because you feel intrinsic self-doubt.

Also remember that your ego, from whom all fears and self-doubts are created, is as smart and clever as you are. However powerfully you have gotten in your own way in the past is how powerfully you can do and achieve what you really want to now. Your ego just wants to “help” you by protecting you from perceived danger. (Much like my three-year-old wants to “help” me sweep by spreading the dirt all over the house.)

So let it. Give it a new job that is aligned with your true desires. Tell it to be vigilant for any new possibilities that may cross your path. It likes to hunt. Your ego is not your enemy and you cannot get rid of it. A great way to address ego is to work with its natural proclivities. Does it like to criticize? Have it criticize any thoughts of stopping doing what you feel called to do. Does it like distraction? Have it read an inspiring book. Does it need to be perfect? Tell it to aspire to excellence and that making mistakes is the best way to get closer to perfection. Listen to your ego with love. Welcome it as a small child who wants to help. Give it a truly useful job to do. Now fears and doubts become poignant signals that something is important to you. With your ego as wing man, you are unstoppable!

What can Heather help you accomplish?
• enrich your success by increasing accountability to yourself.
• align with your core needs and values to serve others.
• broaden your network.
• be inspired to new levels!
• move powerfully forward with greater clarity towards your dreams & goals!

Signs you might need Heather:
• you feel overwhelmed or burned out.
• there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be.
• you want to be intentional about taking your business to the next level.

Click here for specifics on how to work with Heather.

Are you constantly racing to keep up? Do you find yourself like so many other professionals, absorbed with *doing* your business such that you have lost your sense of purpose and enthusiasm for what you are doing? You can experience a fresh perspective and renewed inspiration by stopping for a moment to take a discerning look at *how* you are spending your time, working *on* your business instead of *in* your business.

Constant racing and fear of losing ground seriously stifle our ability to do creative problem solving. We may not have saber tooth tigers after us, but we still have an innate fight or flight stress response. When fear is running us, we lose our ability to analyze and solve problems in the best possible way. Instead, we are constantly putting out fires. We are reactive not proactive. Fear and anxiety keep us from feeling like we can take “extra” time to assess how to be more efficient. Eventually, we may end up feeling burdened, resentful, or burnt out.

If you want to avoid this downward spiral and bring a fresh inspiration to your work it is important to schedule time to “sit back” and assess. One way to analyze your time budget is to list everything you are doing or want to do, put them in order of priority (high to low), and draw a line below that which you can reasonably get done if your are working at 80% capacity. This 80% rule allows you to create reasonable expectations around what you get done. It also allows time for unforeseen obstacles or opportunities. The hard part for many people is letting go of lower priority items. It can be uncomfortable and may even cause physical pain. One way to assuage your pain is to keep the rejected projects in a “Some Day Maybe” File. (See Davis Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, for more information on how to set up a useable filing system.) In this way, you are simply putting lower priorities on a back burner, not rejecting them entirely.

Also, when some great new idea crosses your path, be mindful of where it fits in your list of priorities. Does the shiny new idea make it above the 80% line? What will you drop off the bottom if you take the new thing on? It can be excruciating to say “no” to a great idea especially if your “no” disappoints another person. But it speaks highly of your character if you bring this intention and mindfulness to your commitments. Ultimately, you will show up at higher levels for the things you say “yes” to and be respected for setting clear and responsible limits.

This process of stepping back and assessing your time budget can feel counter-intuitive as we need to temporarily stop “being productive” in order to see the forest for the trees. But ultimately by calmly assessing your time budget, creating clear priorities, and working a reasonable plan, you will be able to economize your efforts for greater results with less stress and feel a renewed sense of inspiration, purpose, and momentum.

Action Steps:
1. Make a list of everything you do or would like to do in your business in the next 6 months. Start with your top priority and work down.
2. Estimate what you can get done if you work at 80% capacity. Draw a line.
3. Put the remaining lower priorities in a “Some Day Maybe” file for future assessment. Then you will not lose them and leaving them out of your immediate plans won’t seem so painfully final.

Extra Credit:
4. Practice saying “no” to someone with whom you need to put off working.
5. Schedule an hour a week to work *on* your business, not *in* your business. (Hint: Working weekly with a professional coach is a great way to establish the habit of staying on top of your time and priorities.)

There are all sorts of time management systems and tools available. Tools are great. We need tools. But unfortunately no tool is one-size-fits-all and we cannot just learn of a tool, flip a switch, and transform how we manage time. Any innovation, whether in technology or in life, requires small steps that build on what already works. Indeed, if you were to give a cave person a cell phone, she would probably use it to bang open nuts!

While we cannot become instant time management experts, we can make positive changes that bit by bit can significantly impact our productivity. There is a little known trick to making this so.

We need to look at what is already working. You are already managing your time, for the most part, with tremendous success. Yes, we are very gifted at looking at what isn’t working and despairing in the frustration of always feeling behind. But for the most part, we keep our to-do lists going. We satisfy the needs of our customers and clients to a level that keeps us in our careers. And we have consistency with many aspects to our schedules.

For instance, I am an absolute master star performer at always, always, without fail getting my coffee before settling into work. There is little in my life at which I am so consistently successful. In contrast, I am not as good at going through my emails and responding to those that require a little extra thought. Honestly, it just feels like an unending pit of obligation. So I procrastinate. Then I get buried. Then I procrastinate more. Then I feel stressed. And I simply cannot respond to all those emails when I am feeling stressed. Rinse and repeat.

Do not despair for me for I have found a simple solution for my email woes. By latticing the difficult task, attending to emails, with the consistent task, getting my coffee, I have created a structure for success! I do not require myself to finish my emails. But I can give it 20 minutes of my attention every day to keep myself from feeling stressed and backlogged.

What are you already good at? Do you do well with appointments that are actually written in your calendar? Perhaps you can try writing “doing my calling” into your schedule. Do you keep appointments with peers? Perhaps you could schedule a work session with a peer to complete online projects. (Include an agreement to confess if you get distracted by your Facebook account!) Please remember to treat your new time management strategies as experiments. Look at what works and tweak to fit any information gleaned from “failures”. By taking small, easy steps that build on your successes, you can transform you habits with great results!

For more tips on time management, register for my Time Management Toolbox Booster!

Action Step:
1. Write down 3 ways in which you are good at time management.
2. For each one, write down how it is that you are successful at each that you listed.
3. Now consider how you could apply what you are good at with your time management to your challenge areas.
4. Try implementing one of these changes for a week. Modify as needed to maximize your success!

I know you’ve wondered if, even fought the possibility that it might all be about you. Yet you get the inkling and then instantly feel guilty for being “selfish”. Or you feel that you are being taken advantage of but resist making any changes or confronting someone because they will suspect that you think it’s all about you. Or you refuse to say “no” when asked for help. Or maybe you never follow your heart and do what really excites you… because you don’t want to be selfish.

By the power invested in me… by… well… me, I now proclaim that it is and has always been all about you!

Am I saying that you are selfish? No, that’s not what I am saying. I am saying that nothing happens for you outside of your own experience. In science we say we cannot remove the observer from that which is observed. Such is life: you cannot remove the experiencer from that which is experienced. If a tree falls in the forest and you are not there to hear it, it does not make a sound. If someone tells you about it, then that person made a sound… but not the tree. Trust me on this one.

Even the term “selfish” is a fabrication from our culture. You had to be taught that there is something called “being selfish” and then someone had to give you examples of what that might be. (In all likelihood, it was some authority figure who defined “selfish” as you wanting something that was inconvenient for them to provide you at the time or that they themselves didn’t feel that they deserved.)

The trouble with “selfish” is that we have put too many things in the selfish bucket. The biggest thing that has gotten tossed in the “selfish” bucket is our taking responsibility for our needs being met. If we advocate for getting what we really want, we brand ourselves as selfish, get more of what we don’t want in the name of serving others, and end up resenting it. We also expect those other people to not be selfish and look after our needs in the same fashion. It seldom balances out, though. As they cannot read our minds and we have not told them what we need for fear of coming across as… well, you know… selfish!

But really each of us is responsible for getting our needs met. Unless you are actually a child reading this, it is no ones else’s responsibility to ensure your needs are met than you. It is not your spouse’s job, though you may make requests of your spouse. It’s not your parents’ job, though you may make requests of your parents. It’s your job. Imagine if everybody took back responsibility for their own happiness what a better world this would be. Crazy!

Another way in which it is really all about you is that, when you serve others, whether it be your sweety, family, or community, some part of you does it because of your core values, the real you beneath ego. There may be a seemingly bigger part of yourself that does good works so others will think you are a good enough person. That part of you, ironically enough, is acting from a need to have external validation that you are good enough. The deeper, truer you does good works because they hold internal meaning to you and feed your soul. It’s OK to have both parts of you doing good works. You can even thank your ego for cooperating with you. “Who’s the good ego?! Good little ego!” (My ego would prefer it if I capitalized Ego, but I’m in control and I’m not going to do it! —- Whoops.)

I have this fantasy that if everyone took action on their deepest heart’s desires, this world would experience such healing. I think we limit ourselves and others if we act out of external expectations and self-sacrifice. The more we align with the callings of our heart, the more joyfully we produce results. When we produce out of obligation we experience resentment and become irritable at those we “selfishly” serve. If we take action that is clearly from our own intrinsic core values, we are energized and inspirational to others. It is important to be mindful, even in giving what we live to give, not to overspend ourselves. We need our rest to restore ourselves before we give to others.

You serve others best when you take care of you.

Your Action Steps:

1. Make a list of your needs. Circle needs that are not being met. Decide how you can take action to have them met. Is there a request you can make?

2. Notice your choices throughout the day. Ask yourself if you are doing something because you “have to” or because it feeds your soul.

3. Think of something you used to enjoy but haven’t done in a long time. Do it.

Extra Credit:

4. Think about a dream or fantasy you had as a child about what you wanted to do with your life. Is there a way you could create that now? Start it.

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Referring to the “ego” with disdain in our voice has become such a part of our culture. We beat ourselves up for not being humble enough. Have you ever had this happen? You realize that you have been doing such a great job at being humble. You feel proud! And then you criticize yourself for having been prideful of being humble? Oh, we can be swirly monkeys. Ego loves to chase it’s own tale.

But, I believe ego is not evil. We haven’t failed if we haven’t successfully gotten “rid of” ego. I have friends who disagree with me on this, but bear with me…

I do believe our spiritual path holds as a primary focus *managing* ego. It is a taming process not a dismantling process. Ego is like a wild horse. It runs free and wild, sometimes with a crazy look in its eyes. It will run away, attack, and race with great power but no purpose but to stay safe. Our egos run us; they drive our bus.  A wild horse driving a bus… perhaps I am mixing my metaphors.

Anyway, in spiritual reality, each one of us is an emergent quality of the Universe. The Universe unfolded however it unfolded. Matters not whether it was the hand of God and took seven amazing days or it was a Big Bang followed by billions and billions (Carl Sagan RIP) of years of cosmic and then biological evolution. Either way, we are written from the heavens. We are God and/or star stuff (or other) put in the unique situation of being self-aware.

We have a survival instinct. Ego is its agent. The ego wants to ensure your physical survival.  But it also wants to ensure psychological survival. The ego mindlessly defends our being in any form that we imagine ourselves. To the ego change equals danger. The change of an arrow physically going through our heart scares the ego every bit as much as a rejection from a loved one’s psychological arrow. Ego wants to keep us aligned with the image of ourselves we have created, mostly unconsciously, based on our childhood experiences, that mostly involve us feeling small and without much power.

Hmmmm. No wonder it can be so hard to change.

But when we do take continuous little steps towards new decisions we want to make about who we are, our ego learns. She adjusts with us and eventually says, “Yeah, OK. So we aren’t going to pretend to be that small anymore. OK.” The ego then tries to “survive” the new self-image. The ego becomes our tool when we nudge, cajole, convince, and persuade it to align with our higher purposes, our new choices.

So instead of being led willy-nilly around by this wild horse, you are riding the powerful horse, directing it. The power has been yours all along… but it has been pretending to be you. Now ego is tamed. It is your tool. Use it mindfully. And also congratulate yourself whenever you wake up into the realization that the wild horse has taken over, again. This is the spiritual path. Greater and greater consciousness and mindfulness. There are always new challenges that require some horse-whispering so never despair when you get bucked off. It just means you are onto a new lesson.

Your Action Steps:

1. Do an Eckhart Tolle and simply watch with curiosity for an hour, or a day, or a week your thoughts and actions. Make no attempt to change anything. Just watch and see and wonder at when you feel survivally and when you feel more zen-like.

2. Give your ego a project… something special for it to “survive”. E.g. Tell your ego to really beware of opportunities to feel peaceful and centered. Tell it it really needs to get behind a new identity of calmness. Write down what happens or shifts. The ego just wants a good job! It’s a lot like my Australian Shepherd in that way.

3. Ask your ego what it thinks it needs to feel safe. Ask it if it is open to the possibility that it could find safety in another way? Ask it if it ever finds benefit from allowing a little challenge, danger, or change. Write its response.

Extra Credit:

4. Tell your ego that you love and appreciate it. Tell it that it’s doing a great job. Throw it a little party. It may become more cooperative with some love and acceptance. Then you become the ego-whisperer. You may even get your own reality TV show!