Becoming mired in our fears and self-doubts is one of the biggest obstacles to achieving success. Have you ever noticed that shortly after the excitement of coming up with a brilliant idea, there are a whole host of fears and what-ifs to follow? Then you question yourself and doubt the brilliance of your idea and your ability to implement it.
Then, instead of taking action, you focus on “Why?” Why am I so afraid? Why don’t I move forward? Could it be self-esteem issues? Maybe I fear failure? Maybe I fear success? Maybe I need therapy? Thus the great idea takes its place on the atrophy (as opposed to trophy) shelf with other abandoned ideas and perceived failures. We use it as new evidence that we cannot live lives of passion and purpose. Yuck!
I am here to tell you, there is another way. Fear and self-doubt just are. They are not going away and they do not mean anything. If you are going to wait for fear to be gone you will only end up doing things about which you are not that passionate.
“But it’s not just fear, Heather. I have a track record of failures.” I am sure you do. I am sure you have a list a mile long. You and me and Thomas Edison. We are all big failures. And we are all big successes but we don’t put much attention on that. (Well, I cannot speak for Thomas Edison.) What if you kept a running list of things you succeeded at and used that as evidence of your future potential?
But don’t throw out your list of “failures”. There’s gold in them hills! Within each failure is embedded a gold nugget of information. You have a choice to use your list of failures as a bludgeoning instrument for your self-worth, or as a rich information mine full of gold bullion. This goes for failed jobs, failed relationships, and failed businesses as well as little disappointments along the way. There is information in successes too. Feeling bad or feeling good is extra. The lessons in each are essential.
Instead of asking “why?”, accept the fears and self-doubts as givens and don’t dwell there. Take action. That action may involve getting more information about your idea to see if it is truly feasible. Because sometimes brilliant ideas are not yet viable and you don’t want to waste your precious time, energy, and life force. Stopping because to move forward is illogical is different than stopping because you feel intrinsic self-doubt.
Also remember that your ego, from whom all fears and self-doubts are created, is as smart and clever as you are. However powerfully you have gotten in your own way in the past is how powerfully you can do and achieve what you really want to now. Your ego just wants to “help” you by protecting you from perceived danger. (Much like my three-year-old wants to “help” me sweep by spreading the dirt all over the house.)
So let it. Give it a new job that is aligned with your true desires. Tell it to be vigilant for any new possibilities that may cross your path. It likes to hunt. Your ego is not your enemy and you cannot get rid of it. A great way to address ego is to work with its natural proclivities. Does it like to criticize? Have it criticize any thoughts of stopping doing what you feel called to do. Does it like distraction? Have it read an inspiring book. Does it need to be perfect? Tell it to aspire to excellence and that making mistakes is the best way to get closer to perfection. Listen to your ego with love. Welcome it as a small child who wants to help. Give it a truly useful job to do. Now fears and doubts become poignant signals that something is important to you. With your ego as wing man, you are unstoppable!